entah bagaimana, tetapi Tuhan memang punya hobi bercanda

terkadang ia senang sekali menciptakan kesempurnaan-kesempurnaan,

dalam rupa yang tidak terduga

seperti coklatnya matamu; yang dalamnya, tidak ada yang tahu

Tuhan lucu.

maybe the world is not so bad after all
and another company, is not a bad idea either.

the warmth of your smile
that look in your eyes.
how you talk
and how you laugh

it's like high school all over again
when two flushed cheek blushed in shyness,
and you're holding my hand.

some days are just,
perfect.

lalu, saya kira, malam ini
jatuh cinta dan mencintai adalah hak bagi setiap manusia.
bagaimana mata-mata yang saling menyala,
senyum-senyum yang saling menyapa
dan hangat-hangat yang saling merasa.

semua orang di dunia ini harus tahu,
ada manusia yang senyum dan tawanya
semembius milikmu.

semua orang di dunia ini harus tahu,
ada manusia yang ketika berbicara,
bisa membuatmu ingin menatapnya sampai selamanya.

semua orang di dunia ini harus tahu.
ada manusia yang bisa meruntuhkan tembok pertahananku,
dengan hanya sesederhana genggaman tangan.

lalu semua orang di dunia ini harus tahu,
apa-apa yang milik kamu,
adalah milik aku pula.

square 01.

the nights get blurry,

as my vision

and my mind

they're back on the mission

of telling me, you were the dream

that came true;

you were the hopes i kept on wishing

that went alive.

they kept on asking me,

why you, out of all people

out of everyone i had been with;

out of everyone i could be with

some days, too,

i kept on asking myself the same question.

though it's still ringing in my head when you broke my chest,

it's still ringing in my head

when you broke my chest

but the sounds

that kept me up at night

aren't the same

no, they don't know about you

or how you were there for me,

11 p.m. when i'm about to burst into panic

you were there to tell me everything will be alright.

you made sure i was alright.

oh, and they don't know about

those little rituals we have

when you asked me out for lunch

but you had black coffee instead.

they don't know how we talked about how vulnerable we are

they don't know how you made sure it's always okay to be imperfect.

they don't know how easy it was to spend hours

just to lay beside you and talk about everything that went right 

and everything that went wrong.

they don't know

how the memories of it all,

keeps killing me at night.

i can't face the evening straight.

but you can offer me escape

houses move

houses speak.

i tightened my hug as you sped up your bike.

it was half past eleven, and i was singing Radiohead's True Love Waits 

on the back seat

as the night wind harshly caress

our happy faces.

days with you were easy

as easy as rose petals falling to the surface

of the broken hearted poet's wooden table.

as easy as the water that rushes down

reaching out to the ground, 

running on your cheeks.

you are my center when i spin away

out of control. 

"And you've been coming around,

trying to hold me down

but you can't keep me anymore.

When you're close enough to whisper in my ear,
But I can't reach you anymore

When you close me off and turn away
I feel like I could die.

When we cling to it, 

when we hold it too close
It gets away from us, 

and we've started to grow old

When it's creeping in, 

and we've nowhere to hide
We try to love again, 

we'll try to love again."

Rasuk telah,
dan akan selalu,
menjadi bagian penting dari diri saya.

Begitu pula Remedy,
dan The Trees and The Wild.

terima kasih sudah mau tumbuh bersama.

don't worry mother your only son is a soldier.

hi. apakah siklusnya harus selalu kayak gini ya?
kalo lagi bermasalah sama masa sekarang, atau masa depan,
berpulangnya ke masa lalu dulu.
ke kamu.

mungkin segala ketidakpastian yang terletak di depan sana,
masih terlalu kuat untuk saya kalahkan.
saya masih selalu memilih untuk bertelungkup di pojok ruang,
sambil memejamkan mata dan menikmati kehangatan kehadiran kamu
yang dulu.

berbeda dengan masa depan,
masa lalu memiliki kualitas kepastian yang angkanya
bisa dibilang mencapai hampir seratus persen.
saya sudah tahu akhirannya seperti apa
selama apa perasaan itu berlangsung,
saya juga sudah tahu bahwa kita sebenarnya saling ada dan saling jatuh cinta

bersyukur saya punya kamu sebagai masa lalu saya, ra.
bersyukur saya pernah disayangi sebegitunya.
bersyukur saya pernah merasakan jatuh cinta sedalam-dalamnya,
hanya dalam kurun waktu beberapa bulan saja.