Plus,

I know whatever happens to me,

I know it's for the better

I know it's for the better

Know it's for the better

Know it's for the better

Know it's for the better,

I know it's for the better.

 i want to live inside your hug, beneath your arms, forever

want to listen to your heart beating in and out of time

want to smell your perfume off your body

i want to get drown in your brown eyes everyday, for the rest of my life

Nobody knows, that every night

before I sleep,

yours is the last name that my mouth mentioned

yours is the last face that my brain pictured

yours is the last voice my ears longed to hear

yours are the last pair of eyes, that I wish I could look at before I close mine.

And if there's the slightest chance,

you don't feel the same way about me,

it's fine

because loving you is one of the main purpose God gave me

when he blew a soul into my body.

and I'm sorry 

if I'm still learning to find the correct way

each and every day

but I love you.

and to keep doing it,

is a pleasure that I would do and re-do

over and over again.

Mau menyampaikan terima kasih untuk banyak hal, tapi utamanya diri sendiri dulu karena udah berani ambil banyak keputusan dalam waktu yang cukup singkat. walaupun perlu banyak pertimbangan dari banyak orang pula, in the end everything is up to me. Dan bangga sekaliii rasanya sama diri sendiri, *self hug*!

Walaupun semuanya masih ga pasti, yang jelas the road is paved with so many lightsss (semoga!) yuk bisa yuk semangat dan ngasih yang terbaik, it's been your dream Lit, to strengthen a startup company.

Mau makasih juga buat Bahri, karena kamu aku jadi semangat buat hidup lagi. Jadi semangat buat bertemu besok-besok-besok karena inget aku punya seseorang yang sayang sama aku (bener kan? bener lah masa enggak), aku punya seseorang yang mau nurutin ke-bm-an aku nyobain a b c d e f g, menyenangkan sekaliii sama kamuuu. Makasih Tuhaaan udah kasih aku kesempatan buat sama Bahri lagi! Makasih juga Bahri udah sabar terus sama aku (aku juga sabar terus kok sama kamu wlee).

Hehe!!!

Rahadian,

your head on my shoulder; our hands intertwined, like it's the end of the time

and we won't let go of each other.

I love you as the lights flicker in front of us, playing god know what movie again because you know I love watching them.

I love you as Jakarta's night wind caresses our smiling faces, I close my eyes as I listened to your never-ending story of life.

I love you as we eat whatever good food it is you want to show me or I want you to try, I love you as I took a bite of your food and you mine.

I love you as you hold me closer to you just to hug me before we go, or before I go, even I love you after that.

You're the softness in the world of hard things, and I thank god you're mine.

I wish I was dancing and kissing you to this song right now

 

"But for now, I'll just say I love you.

Nothing more seems important somehow,

And tomorrow can wait, come whatever

Let me love you forever..

but right now..

Some fine day when we go walking,

We'll take time for idle talking

Sharing every feeling as we watch each other smile

I'll hold your hand, you'll hold my hand

We'll say things we never had planned.

Then we'll get to know each other, in a little while

But for now, let me say I love you, Rahadian

Later on there'll be time for so much more

But for now meaning now and forever

Let me kiss you my darling, then once more."

a transcript from a dear friend, a ground to stand everytime I crumble.

28/08/21.

"gue nih ya kak, kalo ngeliat lo tuh.. ini bukan mau menyanjung lo atau menyenangkan hati lo yaa.. ini bener-bener murni pendapat netral gue. umm.. lo tuh bener-bener salah satu orang yang menurut gue... bisa dibilang jenius? gatau sih jenius apa engga.. yang gue liat sih lo bener-bener orang yang dari cara ngomong tuh, lo itu orang yang ilmunya penuh banget di otak lo itu. wawasan lo tentang.. apapun itu, tentang bola, tentang musik, tentang film, tentang lukisan.. kayak lo tuh, tau semua hal yang gue anggap keren. 

meskipun gue ga tau tentang semua hal itu, cuma gue ngeliatnya sangat-sangat keren.. dan selain itu, yang tadi. dari cara ngomong lo yang, bener-bener lo tuh padet banget isi kepalanya, umm.. lo lulus 3,5 tahun di psikologi UI, cum laude, itu bener-bener wow banget dari pandangan gue. terus juga, umm.. pengalaman lo, lo pernah internship di Big 4, internship di Sun Eater, yang mana gue kebetulan suka sama salah satu talentnya. 

terus... apa ya, jarang sih menurut gue, umm.. cewek yang valuable... perempuan yang valuenya setinggi lo. menurut gue lo keren banget... terus juga kalo gue nyeritain sesuatu, keliatan lo tuh cepet banget nangkepnya. gue ngerasa, lo tuh punya empati buat apa yang gue ceritain, selain cuma ngerti. 

umm.. jadi.. dari semua hal-hal yang menurut gue keren banget dari lo ini, hal-hal yang tadi tuh, yang lo ngerasa capek, lo nangis, itu hal yang wajar.. karena gue tau sebenernya tuh lo mampu... cuma mungkin belum saatnya lo bisa terbiasa dengan semua itu. semoga, cuma masalah waktu aja buat lo terbiasa sama pressure-pressure lo di kantor ini. pasti ada waktunya lo bisa terbiasa sama kantor lo ini."