Have we already over, yet.......?

I'm too professional of faking what's inside.
I told them I've already moved on
I told myself that yeah I'm an Easily-get-distracted type of girl- like a boss,
But the brain and the heart collide and do refusing.
God, how the ef he's still stuck in this head?
And knowing that he will come back in few days makes my mind screwed.
I'm not ready. I'm not ready to face that face again.
I'm not ready to hear that laugh again
I'm not ready to hear his voice of calling my name again
I'm not ready to have a crush on him like I did again
I'm not ready to admire him like I always did again
I'm not ready to hear him ask me to do him a favor like he did again
I'm not ready to have a conversation with him again
I'm not ready to hear all of his drama again.

I'm just.......
I'm not ready to fall again.
I wish you were never really happen, Ben.