moi winter butterflies!

welcome to AD&AD's happi place!

everyone is welcomed 🤗

 

    "All we wanted was peace and quiet,

you make me feel it.

I feel it, when i'm with you.

it's so significant that we found each other

when we did."

winter butterflies.

Aku tersenyum menuju lelapku.

Katamu, beberapa tahun yang lalu, 

Rara pernah menjadi guru di sebuah sekolah kecil di bilangan Rumpin. 

Kamu membacakan cerita tentang pohon tua 

yang menyayangi pemiliknya di setiap keadaan.

Sial, aku lupa kapan terakhir kali merasakan hangat 

yang sebegitunya menyesapi dada,

rasanya pelaaaan sekali tapi menyenangkan.

Kadang aku sampai bingung harus menghadapi kebaikanmu 

dengan cara yang bagaimana lagi,

kelembutanmu dengan senang yang bagaimana lagi.

Jika kelembutan harus terpaksa kudefinisikan,

akan kuceritakan tiap-tiap kamu berucap setengah berbisik,

"Selamat tidur, Alita."

kita hanya dua asing yang terombang-ambing di kalutnya semesta;

di riuhnya gemuruh kebingungan;

dan di gaduhnya hingar bingar ketakutan.

mencoba mencari pegangan,

dan menemukan satu sama lain.

I'll watch you sleep, listen to you breathe.

 I've been playing dead, my whole life

And I got this feeling whenever I feel good,

it'll be the last time.

But I feel something, when I see you now.

I feel something

when I see you.

Phoebe Bridgers - I Know The End.

Seperti halnya NIKI dengan lagu "Lose" yang pada masanya, menurut saya, sangat mampu menggambarkan belenggu yang coba saya lepas.. hari ini saya menemukan "I Know The End" milik Phoebe Bridgers. Rasanya aneh sekali, menemukan lagu yang membawa saya kembali ke sore hari di bulan Februari.

"Like a wave that crashed and melted on the shore,

not even the burnouts are out here anymore.

And you had to go..

I know, I know,

I know

Out in the park we watch the sunset

talking on a rusty swing set

After a while you got quiet, and I got mean

Always pushing you away from me

but you come back with gravity."

Kalau kamu baca dan kalau kamu lupa, iya, yang saya maksud Taman Tebet. Di kebetulan itu, kita sama-sama duduk di sebuah ayunan berkarat, atau alat olahraga yang sudah bau besi. Menunggu matahari tenggelam untuk sama-sama menutup hari. Kamu yang banyak bercerita, hingga pada satu waktu mengeluarkan pernyataan aku cocok bertemu dengan ibumu. Payah sekali aku mempercayaimu. Dan tidak lama kamu lelah berbicara, menjadi diam, dan aku seperti biasa, menjadi marah.

Seingatku malam itu ditutup dengan semangkuk bubur dan sepiring nasi gila. Hangat dan menyenangkan. Tapi sekarang begitu menyesakkan.

In my dreams everything is fine;

I dreamed of forever being under the dark blue water

it's cold, but i'm floating gently

my feet swaying upwards, backwards

slowly, like i've been living there for years.

I dreamed of being able to breathe water

so that I could spend the rest of my life not listening to things I don't want to hear

or talk about things I never wanted to talk about.

Just me and my thoughts alone,

surrounded by blue, and sun rays that succeeded in breaking through.

I dreamed of few hours before,

when we're still fine, at least I were.

Our hands intertwined,

we laughed and we trembled.

The water was way too cold,

but at least we're happy.

I dreamed of another chance in another life

where we're fine, and 

normal.

Spent the day loving. 

While watching the mountain greens and water blue, 

interchanging.

Kaki Gunung Sumbing, 2020.

I kinda think I could survive forever without ever getting bored of you.

We could refuse to wake up on the weekends, stuffed in our favorite blankets. I make your favorite cup of coffee, while taking Rocky to our bed.

We could turn the turntable on

and put Chet Baker on repeat.

Or simply watch "Her" for god knows how many time already.

I could watch you work forever. I could listen to your nags all day.

If you're looking for someone that looks at you the way Rocky did, I'm here.